The Effect Negative Self-Talk
The impact negative self-talk can have on our overall happiness and wellbeing should not be understated. Therefore, the “effect of negative self-talk” deserves a post of its own. It is just that important. What is negative self-talk? In this short post, we’ll provide an overall definition of negative self-talk: The internal dialogue you have with yourself, which expresses opinions about yourself that are negative. However, a deep deep look into negative self-talk would reveal that there’s more to it that is not covered in a general definition. It turns out that there are 10 forms of negative self-talk. Mind-reading Overgeneralization Magnification Minimization Emotional reasoning Black and white thinking Personalization Fortune-telling…
How to Be Your Authentic Self
“Just be yourself.” Most of us have heard this, usually in situations where we’re afraid we might not be accepted. For instance, at a job interview, an audition, or the first day of something–anything where we might encounter people we don’t know. But here’s the irony in the saying “just be yourself”: It’s typically said to us when we’re worried we won’t be accepted by others. However, being ourselves starts with us accepting ourself. That is actually the first and most important step. Once we’re able to pass that threshold, being our true authentic self should come much more easily; and it’s such a liberating feeling. 6 Tips for Being…
The Book That Turned Things Around
If you’ve read certain PositLive posts on self-esteem and motivation, you may have already heard about the book, Building Self-Esteem by L.S. Barksdale. For me, this book has been life-changing. In fact, it is one of the things that inspired me to start PositLive. My thoughts were: ‘There has to be a way to share such life-changing ideas that can brighten people’s day–week–month–years–and (potentially) life. So, I guess it’s about time that I add this book to my list of favorite things. As outlined in Building Self-Esteem, our self-esteem is behind every life decision we make. Furthermore, our self-esteem develops without us realizing it. Because of our self-esteem’s importance in…
Life Changing: One of the Best Videos on Self-Esteem
Finally, after Self-Esteem Part 1, 2, and 3, it’s time to share a video that brings it all together. You’ll notice right away that it’s an old video. But don’t let the old video quality give you a negative bias toward it. It’s definitely worth watching from start to finish. Why? Because it’s, by far, one of the best videos on self-esteem out there. Watch, reflect, and restore. After viewing, think about the following: Do I feel kind and loving toward myself? Do I suffer from guilt, resentment, anxiety, loneliness, anger, or jealousy? Am I my body? Am I my mind? What am I if I’m not defined by my…
Self-Esteem Part 3: How to Develop and Maintain a Sound Self-Esteem
There are three basic steps to solving a problem. Self-Esteem Part 1 and 2 tackled the first two steps: 1. Understanding the problem and 2. Knowing how it’s caused. Now, it’s time for step 3: Using that knowledge to create a plan of action to resolve the problem. In order to better understand the solution, here is a recap of Part 1 and 2. Part 1: A high level of self-esteem is not based on merit, accomplishments, physical appearances, talents and abilities, or any external factor. Rather, it’s loving yourself unconditionally and realizing that you are innately worthy (6). Part 2: Self-esteem is a direct result of our awareness, which…
Self-Esteem Part 2: How Does Our Self-Esteem Develop? A Roadmap to Increasing Self-Acceptance and Reducing Guilt, Shame, and Regret
“Self-esteem is usually a subtle feeling that begins in childhood and is continually reinforced by cultural conditioning…Changing our feelings about ourselves entails a major revision of our awareness.” Building Self Esteem, 6 There are two major ideas in this excerpt: 1. Awareness and 2. Cultural Conditioning. So what are they? Moreover, what do they have to do with self-esteem? In answering these questions, it becomes evident that: “Most low self-esteem stems from unfortunate childhood experiences.” Building Self Esteem, 12 Awareness Our awareness is not just what we’re consciously aware of from our five senses. Awareness is also things we’re not aware of, such as our understanding, logic, and belief systems…
Self-Esteem Part 1: Understanding the Foundation of it All
Saying that self-esteem can mean life or death might seem a bit melodramatic. However, it’s stated quite plainly in Barksdale’s Building Self-Esteem. And he does make a good point. Self-esteem is not just how we see ourselves. It plays a critical role in things like our emotions, reactions, life decisions, the health of our relationships, the health of our bodies–and yes, even life itself. Whether our self-esteem is high or low, we should at least invest the time to examine it and become more aware of its influence on our lives. What is Self-Esteem? Self-esteem is actually not about being infatuated with ourselves and having a big ego. Furthermore, it’s…
Only You
Of the estimated 100 billion people who have ever lived, it’s fascinating to think there has only ever been one you. Even identical twins aren’t completely identical. Although they share the same DNA and may look exactly the same (especially at a young age), the fact that their parents and close friends and family can tell them apart is a testament to their subtle differences; which by the way, become more distinct over time with things like gene mutation as well as environmental and epigenetic factors. Basically, no one else has ever or will ever look, talk, walk or sound just like you. No one has ever or will ever…
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“The holiest of holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart; the anniversaries of the heart.”
Defining “Self-Care”
For most of us, the phrase “self-care,” brings up images of things like washing our hair, brushing our teeth, shaving, or getting enough exercise and rest. Basically, we think of all the things we can do that are considered taking care of self; most often, taking care of our body. But we must broaden the horizon of self-care because it can be so much more than what it is on the surface. It goes beyond our bodies, beyond our actions, and beyond anything superficial. So understanding all that it is and applying that knowledge, is definitely something worth doing as we strive to live life more positively. Self-Care is a…
