The Problem of Perfectionism and “Product” Goals
Recently, I was talking to a friend about goals. We all have them. And if you don’t, get yourself some. But I digress…As we were sharing our goals, she asked me a simple question about one of mine. She asked me when the book I’m working on will be published. I had no response. Even worse, I hadn’t given enough thought or planning on it to know the answer. The truth is, I feel like it’ll never be done. The finish line seems so far in the distance that I sometimes forget it’s there. I actually stop moving toward it. The truth is, I often go months at a time…
The Effect Negative Self-Talk
The impact negative self-talk can have on our overall happiness and wellbeing should not be understated. Therefore, the “effect of negative self-talk” deserves a post of its own. It is just that important. What is negative self-talk? In this short post, we’ll provide an overall definition of negative self-talk: The internal dialogue you have with yourself, which expresses opinions about yourself that are negative. However, a deep deep look into negative self-talk would reveal that there’s more to it that is not covered in a general definition. It turns out that there are 10 forms of negative self-talk. Mind-reading Overgeneralization Magnification Minimization Emotional reasoning Black and white thinking Personalization Fortune-telling…
Control and Anxiety
It’s a natural human condition to want everything to go exactly how we picture it in our heads. However, to much of our dismay, life can be unpredictable. Things may not always go according to plan. And whenever life feels unpredictable, unplanned, or uncertain–with major life decisions in front of us, it’s natural to worry. It’s the moment that those things that are uncertain, unplanned, and unpredictable seem out of our control that our worry quickly turns into anxiety. But it doesn’t have to. To The Control Freak and Everyone Else First of all, ask yourself: what are you trying to control? What can you do about your situation that’s…
How to Be Your Authentic Self
“Just be yourself.” Most of us have heard this, usually in situations where we’re afraid we might not be accepted. For instance, at a job interview, an audition, or the first day of something–anything where we might encounter people we don’t know. But here’s the irony in the saying “just be yourself”: It’s typically said to us when we’re worried we won’t be accepted by others. However, being ourselves starts with us accepting ourself. That is actually the first and most important step. Once we’re able to pass that threshold, being our true authentic self should come much more easily; and it’s such a liberating feeling. 6 Tips for Being…
Why We Should All Try to Have a Growth Mindset
The question of whether you have a growth mindset or a fixed mindset is something that deserves reflection–we should all ponder it. If you’re wondering which one you have, let’s start with what they are. In short, a growth mindset is a belief that people’s talents, intelligence, and habits can develop over time with practice and experience. Meanwhile, a fixed mindset is the belief that these things can never be developed or changed. When we mirror aspects of growth and fixed mindsets side by side, we get a clearer picture. Growth Mindset VS Fixed Mindset GROWTH: Understanding that the things you’re not good at now are things you can get…